On "Ways of Seeing"

I had very mixed opinions about this piece, a sort of love/hate relationship, if you will. I got lost half the time and at other times extremely bored with the terminology and the subject matter. Art has always been very subjective to me, either I like it or I don't, and nine times out of ten I probably won't like it. I flew through the art museum in Munich, caring little for all the "priceless originals" in there, only stopping now and again to look at the obscure paintings that really seemed to say something to me, which almost never happened. I've never had much appreciation for different artists but reading this did open my eyes a little and I found myself wishing that I knew some more about the different styles of art and so on. I also really liked the way he tied in the way we see things to how our culture treats art nowadays and how it's been treated ever since people realized that it was "worth" something (monetarily). It saddens me that it takes the mention of money to make people think that something actually has something valuable about it (non monetarily).
I like how the "experts" now talk only of the history and what we can learn about history or certain figures through the art (including the artist) when all of this is somewhat immaterial compared to what the painting actually seems to bring to the table. It is a personal interpretation of the present (for the artist, through this eyes, his way of seeing) as well as a chance for us to interpret what exactly it says to us and how we see which is something I think few people ever do when looking at "art" (including myself).
I also have found myself partly placing a mysticism on things including art, although in a different way than he puts it (I least I hope so), I do my "mysticism" in a personally interpretive way, like entering a meaningful dream when I'm in the presence of a favorite picture. It's the same as when you wake up after that dream and spend the next three days trying to understand what you were shown (or what you let yourself see), you put the art in context of your own life and get what messages you need from it, and usually getting something new every time (well at least this should be the case if you are actively working on expanding yourself mentally) .
I'll talk more on this later. sleep.

The Achievement of Desire

Well after painfully racking myself to try and finish the essay about cockfighting and police
raids, I found it surprising easy to finish the Achievement of Desire and really enjoying it. It is
the story of a man growing up second generation of Mexican descendant (I'm not sure if that
makes sense but I'm not sure how to phrase it) in California and desiring to be more like his teachers and less like his parents. He shows us his progression through the education process from his early years to his final year as a grad student working on his final paper and the final realization of what he has become and what he lost in order to get him there.
We follow little Richard in grade school and watch as he turns into an anxious and ambitious student and embarrassed and reclusive son. He becomes obsessed with imitating his beloved teachers and seems to take the meaning of education (or the process) at face value, believing that reading and understanding themes was the way to become "educated" and thus confident and teacher-like.

Deep Play: Notes on a Balinese Cockfight

In one word or less? Overly verbose, informative but drawn out and never ending. Ok so maybe I need a few more than one (or less). I'm not what I would considered a detailed, analytical thinker who can run off hard facts all day long. I feed off raw emotion (definitely mixed with some actually facts or wisdom you could say) and not emotion displayed behind a thick glass wall of dry facts and drawn out observations.
I found myself constantly at the bottom of the page wondering what the hell I had just read and questioning whether or not I could just keep going since the plot wasn't always readily available in my mind and where the book was didn't always seem relevant. When I finished however, I did realize it was all tied together and did make sense. It's a society that's not unlike any other in that they have their rituals and superstitions and are basically friendly, but also have a collective "shadow" side where they can more easily display their more base sides (through violence, gambling, etc.), yet there is something honorable and complex about even this. I think his point was that when you stop looking at a society merely from an outsider's point of view you start to realize that every culture is linked somehow and that how we are as a people comes out very pronounced in the ways we do things as a community, if we do anything at all as a community (doing nothing at all can still speak volumes about us as private citizens too). You really can start to understand the Balinese on a deeper level if you simply take the time to study their pass time, which happens to be cockfighting.
That being said, it was still pretty boring and difficult to get through, his writing style is so dry and almost lackluster. I'm sure cockfighting is very exciting and intense in real life, yet I was falling asleep at his descriptions, and wanting nothing more than to just be finished.

In Search of Our Mother's Gardens

Well I liked this one quite a bit, I could definately feel this woman's emotions seeping out meaningfully into her essay. I liked her ability to fuse quotes from (opressed) female authors from different times with different circumstances to her own time and circumstance, or not really her personal one only, but that of the women she is defending.
I also liked her beginning which talked about Jean Toomer and his travels through the South and his descriptive encounters with the black woman. There was something musical and sad about the whole thing that I found very captivating.
I'm finding out more and more that the stories I'm usually gravitated towards are the ones about tragedy and the loss of something irreplacable. There is a message of hope in there but it's almost drowned in sorrow, which I definately loved (although now whoever is reading this thinks I'm either depressed or feed off it, which is probably somewhat true). Even though her particular story dealing with a specific struggle, it's a familiar story and one I keep going through my head in one way or another, as I think many others also do though they may not be fully conscience of it.
I get so caught up thinking and seeing through a man's eyes, it's refreshing to see the same dramas played out from the other perspective.
"Guided by my heritage of a love of beauty and a respect for strength - in search of my mother's garden, I found my own."
Good stuff.

Homelessness

Hey guys, since Saturday morning I have been, you guessed it, HOMELESS!!! WEE!!!!
Just thought I'd keep everyone informed on my life. Night.
p.s. It's not really quite as fun as it seems on tv, no train cars, no banjo, no full length beard, Nothin.